WAITING FOR A VISIT IN THE BUCKET

 MY darling grand daughter and her  wonderful mother are coming to town 

Yes, after a  terrible  period of two years I am expecting   to see my grand daughter ROWAN and her lovely mother CHARLOTTE tomorrow. I am so excited and also a little apprehensive.

Let me tell you--I am a mess.  I am afraid that they will be shocked  by how much worse I am than two years ago.  Surgeries, infectious  diseases and  stints in rehab  to recover have   taken  me down.  And I am not back to where I was two years ago--never mind back to  health.

I hate to whine but I do want them to have a good time here.  I have   kept my eyes open for events that they might enjoy and hope to get a list together.

I KNOW THAT WHEN ROWAN  USED TO  SPEND  A MONTH WITH ME EACH SUMMER  she liked the rituals of RHODE ISLAND--clam cakes and chowder, coffee milk, Del's Lemonade, time at the beach, and frequent stops at DUNKIN'  I can still provide those easily.
These were all so easy when I was living in the house in South Kingston and  had a pool in my back yard and the ocean at the Breachway less than a mile away.

And I could go and enjoy these things with her.  But this has  all changed. And I have very little mobility  or endurance. She is now 20 years old and is  coming  to spend  just 7  days.  So how can I best use that time?

Yesterday Mikey came by for a couple of hours and he  tried to make  the  study area of the  double living  room more  open and clear.  We had been using  it as a staging area  for  transferring the  debris  of  70 years that was stashed in the cellar, patio and garage into  more durable  plastic  containers, or relegating them to be given to the Salvation Army  or the Library or  Linn Health Care.  There are still too many books piled on the coffee table  and some  boxes of files and tax records heaped around the area  where I sit.  But as Mikey said about the two bedrooms that he helped me to make less cluttered  "They are not perfect but they are PRESENTABLE."

That was Mikey's word PRESENTABLE  and I think it is an apt one.  But I fear  that  Yash and I are not presentable.  Oh, I should not include Yash he is always   presentable.
But I have serious doubts about me.

HOW CAN I BEST RENEW OUR BOND  that  I fear time has frayed?   She has also been through a lot since we last met.  I want her to know that  I love and accept her just the way she is.
 NO CHANGES REQUIRED.

I learned from my   more than 4 decades in the classroom that ACCEPTANCE  and  ATTENTION and APPROVAL  are the three  A's that must be on a teacher's report card. Without them we cannot do our job.

I think that is true of  being a GRANDMOTHER--we must maintain a judgement free zone in the lives of  these  descendants, Even when we don't understand  their actions--especially when we don't understand.  They are facing a different world than the one we faced at 20--and it is NOT AN EASIER WORLD.  It is a scarier and a more unpredictable place.

SO I guess the best thing I can do is show my APPROVAL, GIVE HER MY FULL ATTENTION and 
let her know that I ACCEPT HER  TOTALLY>

Let's see how I do with that formula.
WISH ME LUCK AND A LOVING TIME.