WHEN I FEEL DOWN IN THE BUCKET, I CALL FOR THE DRAGONS

MY grand daughter  reminded me recently of all the stories about dragons I made up for her when she  was  a child.

I made up stories about fire-dragons, ice dragons, frost dragons, snow dragons. 
Richard Rohr  has also been thinking about dragons in our lives.

"How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are the beginning of all peoples? The myths about dragons that, at the last moment, turn into princesses. Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses, who are only waiting to see us, once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is, in its deepest being, something helpless that wants help from us."

"So, you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you, larger than any you have ever seen. If a restiveness like light and cloud-shadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. 
You must think that something is happening to you. That life has not forgotten you. That it holds you in its hand. It will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you."

THE BASIS OF CHANGE AND DEVELOPMENT IS INTERNAL.  THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE OF SPIRITUAL  CHANGE AND DEVELOPMENT.
An acceptance of suffering  and a  strong faith that  something is happening and that
the working of grace is  often subtle and unpredictable. To develop this movement we need to be more humble.

Keating wrote:

Humility is a great subject because it is the most fundamental religious disposition. It 
undergirds the stages of the spiritual journey. It gets deeper as we go along. Humiliation is the way to humility. 
 You lose the sense of shame and you gain more and more inner freedom. The point may come when you actually love your weaknesses and faults because they keep you humble. The feelings of shame and humiliation give way to a loving acceptance of the truth and a complete trust in God’s infinite mercy. 

We’re not asking anybody to think that we are good, because now we see that whatever good we have comes from God. We don’t deny that we have this basic goodness, but we acknowledge that we have made a mess of our lives  and that God is healing us. Instead of grieving because of our sins, we realize that God has used them for our great benefit. 

Humility is the truth. That is to say, humility is the capacity to accept whatever happens, peacefully. Then you can decide whether God is calling you simply to accept the situation, or to do something to improve or correct it. Humility is a constant and permanent disposition that puts one in tune with the universe and with whatever is happening in the present moment. 

We know that whatever happens, the love of God is always with us and that [God] will turn even our failures into perfect love." 

When we accept what is, letting go of our hope for a different or better past, we are led into a much greater freedom. And as long as there is accountability and forgiveness as part of the process, healing will almost inevitably follow.

That remark hits me squarely because I often think of past decisions and events and  choices that I regret.

One thing that we can never get is a different past, but with humility and hope in the dragons, we can  create a different and better future.

ARE THERE DARK EXPERIENCES IN THE BUCKET?

Experiences of darkness are good and necessary teachers.
It is hard to believe this when we are in the midst of a  period of darkness.  But  after it is over we sometimes  can reflect on it and see that it was   telling us something.

BUT WHAT AND WHY?

These dark times  are not to be avoided, denied, run from, or explained away.

 Even if we don’t experience clinical or diagnosed depression, most of us will go through a period of darkness, doubt, and malaise at some point in our lives. 

I hope during these times we can reach out to someone—a therapist, spiritual director, friend—to support us. And when we feel strong may we be the shoulder someone else can lean on.

But sometimes it is not that clear or that easy.

There’s a darkness that we are led into by our own sin (the illusion of separation), and selfishness (living out of the false or separate self), and stupidity. We have to work our way out of this kind of darkness by brutal honesty, confession, surrender, forgiveness, apology, and restitution. 

It may feel simultaneously like dying 

and 

being liberated.

But there’s another darkness that we’re led into by God, grace, and the nature of life itself. In many ways, the loss of meaning, motivation, purpose, and direction might feel even greater here. 

Some call it “the dark night of the soul.”

 Yet even while we feel alone and that God has abandoned us, we can also sense that we have been led here intentionally. We know we are in “liminal space,” betwixt and between, on the threshold—and we have to stay here until we have learned something essential.

 It is still no fun and filled with doubt and “demons” of every sort. But it is the darkness of being held closely by God without our awareness. This is where transformation happens.

Of course, the darkness that we get ourselves into by our own “sinful” choices can also become the darkness of God. Regardless of the cause, the dark night is an opportunity to look for and find God—in new forms and ways.

GOD IS EVERYWHERE--EVEN OR ESPECIALLY IN THE DARKNESS.

Neither God nor goodness exist only in the light but permeate all places, seen and unseen. It seems we have to “unknow” a bit every time we want to know in a new way. It is like putting your car in reverse in the mud and snow so that you can gain a new track and better traction.